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DEAR COACH: I work as a regional production manager for a consumer products firm. I'm a good people manager, and people really seem to like working for me. I take lots of time for them and try to be as responsive as possible. But I'm not sure how much longer I can go on feeling like my days are so out of my control. It's impossible to do all the things I feel need to be done and still get home for dinner more than once or twice a week. I have high standards, and the only way not to make my team members' lives miserable is to stay and get things done myself. My office is piled high with things I'm still working on, because they're not quite finished to my satisfaction. As for vacations or weekends, they hardly exist for me. My life feels like a gerbil wheel, with me running in place, working longer and longer hours and getting more behind all the time. I've even begun to wonder whether I'm cut out for this job. Do you have some suggestions for places where I could still have some leadership opportunities and not be so tied to my job?
-- KIRK
DEAR KIRK: It sounds like the one person you're not managing well is yourself. I would lay big bets that if you leave your current job, you'll take those perfectionist proclivities with you, and work just as long and hard -- unnecessarily -- in the new company. Deal with yourself and save job searching for later.
I'd also question whether you're managing as well as you think you are. Skulking around till late at night so things meet your high standards must undercut your people's confidence to some degree. Ask them how hard they feel they're working, and how much confidence they feel you have in them. After that, ask them to suggest how you could manage your time better and still respond to their needs.
Here are some instructions I bet they'll give you:
- Have specific open door times so you're available several times a day, but close your door and do your own work the rest of the time. We can wait until the time is right to speak to you. In fact, we think you've spoiled us a little and allowed us to expect instant gratification in terms of access to you.
- Don't work on more than three major projects at once, and set aside what success coach Jennifer White called "laser days" to work hard on your own projects. See White's book, Work Less, Make More for suggestions on controlling your own workflow.
- Give us a longer tether to see if we could do more. You'll make us feel more able and save yourself lots of time.
- Don't answer our emails when you get them. Set aside an a.m. and p.m. time to read and respond, and don't let email rule your day. We'll tell you if there really is an emergency.
- Get rid of the piles. The clutter in your office wastes energy and makes us feel anxious. And when we're anxious about all that needs to be done, we can't work as productively as we'd like.
- Delegate -- don't do a project yourself unless you're the only one in the world who can. You have over learned participatory management, and you're driving us crazy trying not to seem like a boss.
- Go home. Get some rest and drink less coffee. We can't stand the atmosphere when you feel so pressured. Don't you know, human productivity plummets after eight hours anyway?
How do I know this is what they'd probably say to you? Thousands of counseling and coaching clients have said these things about their bosses over the years, hoping the people in charge would protect their time enough to help everyone work more effectively. The enemy is within here, Kirk. Your admitted perfectionism and your own lack of boundaries will undo the good work you've accomplished in terms of strong, respectful professional relationships -- and probably cost you some personal ones -– if you're not careful.
CAREER COACH
